tavie.com

I was just thinking how nice it would be to be able to grow a full beard. This would serve on multiple levels: it suits both my Jesus and long-hair fetishes (and how about my Yitzhak fetish?); it would look cool and weird; and, most importantly, it would hide my double chins. I had a dream once where I grew a full beard and it was one of the best dreams I ever had.

I don't want to be a man, mind you; I want to be a beautiful, feminine, sexy woman, with a full beard. And perky breasts.

Of course such a thing is not possible to imagine in our culture. Only men have beards.

Also, when I get down to it, all I really want a beard for is to hide the double chins. In which case, diet and exercise might go further to meet this end than simple hair growth.

Dear Santy Claus: Please get me a treadmill and some hand weights for Christmas... and have your elves wire my jaw shut...

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:11 AM | shower me with attention